maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
