How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wanna bring you to show and tell
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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