yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
