Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
