i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
