I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
