I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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