your parents love me but you hate me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
