yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
