was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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