I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
