So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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