her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
