I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
