He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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