If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
