Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
