so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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