I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Alive.
So much puke
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
