You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize