my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
