FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
