I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize