At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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