Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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