Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How does it feel to date your dad?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize