one two three fourrrrnication!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
