3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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