I want to make a zoo with you.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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