If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
