That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
