would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
