I love black thongs
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize