he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
