I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize