I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize