party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Randomize
