is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
