My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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