I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
