we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
