I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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