i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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