If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
