I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
