I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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