I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize