It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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