So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
