So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
