the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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