Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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