So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do herpes really smell.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
