they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
