i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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