I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
