You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
