Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
