If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
