Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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