Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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