I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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