So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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