The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
PANTIES FOUND
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