i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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