Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We need a shit load of segways right now
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize