I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
