Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
