Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
