I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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