Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
