The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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