So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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