I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
