ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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